Grandpa refuses to let daughter replace the vase her 2-year-old son broke, constantly complains about it for months on end: 'He had the right to complain that my son had damaged his property'

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Emmy Pratt • Senior Editor
Jul 14, 2024 6:00 PM EDT

Mistakes happen, especially when kids are involved. One time, I was over at a neighbor's house when one of the other neighbor boys broke the 2006 flat-screen TV, and it was a doozy. When I was a kid, I accidentally flooded the house because I left the bathroom before checking if the toilet flushed all the way. Kids are a recipe for disasters, and the worst part is that they are mostly unable to atone for their mistakes financially. If I broke my roommate's air fryer, I would just buy him a new air fryer! But if a 2-year-old breaks his grandfather's beloved vase, his mom must atone for him. That's exactly what happened in this story, but the grandpa is being wishy-washy about whether he wants his daughter to replace it on not. When he's talking to her, he says he doesn't, but it gets more complicated when he's discussing the matter with other people.

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    Cheezburger Image 10373681920
    via Tim Doerfler

    Photo does not feature the real subject in the story

  • 02
    AITA for telling my father to get over the vase my son broke?
    via u/Inevitable-Fox7946
  • 03
    When I was a teenager, my father bought a large glass vase, which he filled with wine corks. For years, it stayed on top of a small table in the living room.
    via u/Inevitable-Fox7946
  • 04
    My family visits him monthly for lunch. Last October, my son was running around my father's living room and accidentally knocked the table over, which caused the vase to fall down and break.
    via u/Inevitable-Fox7946
  • 05
    I immediately apologized and offered to buy a new vase. My husband and I also cleaned everything up. My father declined my offer to replace it. At the time, he said he understood it was an accident and was just glad my son hadn't gotten hurt (he was two years old at the time, and there was a lot of glass on the floor).
    via u/Inevitable-Fox7946
  • 06
    During the next couple of months, I apologized and offered to pay for a new vase multiple times. My father continued saying it was fine. However, earlier this year, my father started talking about how much he loved the cork vase, and how expensive it had been back when he bought it. As the following months went by, his complaints began to escalate.
    via u/Inevitable-Fox7946
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    He'd make comments about the fact that my son broke the vase almost every time we came over. Occasionally, he'd also "joke" that we should plan our visits with longer notice so that he could hide his valuables from my kid.
    via u/Inevitable-Fox7946
  • 08
    Last week, he threw a party at his place, which we attended. A friend of his who hadn't visited in a while noticed the vase was gone and asked about it, to which my father replied that "my little "had broken it and I hadn't replaced it.
    via u/Inevitable-Fox7946
  • 09
    My husband was nearby and heard it. After the party, I confronted my father, and we fought. He said that he had the right to complain about the fact that my son had damaged his property.
    via u/Inevitable-Fox7946
  • 10
    I told him that while he has the right to be upset, the fact that he declined my offer to buy him a new vase does not entitle him to complain about me not doing it. He can either retract his forgiveness and work something out with me or get over the vase and stop blaming my toddler for the accident. I won't have him calling my son names over this.
    via u/Inevitable-Fox7946
  • 11
    My father is still insisting I'm in the wrong here. AITA?
    via u/Inevitable-Fox7946
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    RB1327 1 day ago edited 1 day ago my father replied that "my little "had broken it NTA, but is this normal behaviour for your father? Does he have a history of name-calling or treating your child badly? Is "little "an extreme insult in his usual lexicon? Or some kind of weird term of affection?
    via u/RB1327
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    Inevitable-Fox7946 OP 1 day ago He has no such history, but he does get frustrated that there are limitations that come with having a toddler around. That has lead to some minor arguments in the past, but he loves my son and doesn't mistreat him.
    via u/Inevitable-Fox7946
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    RB1327 1 day ago edited 21 hr. ago he loves my son and doesn't mistreat him. Then don't blow this up into some big deal. People get old and more crotchety, that's life. You need to buy a replacement vase and have your kid present it to Grandpa with excitement. The End.
    via u/RB1327
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    Inevitable-FoX7946 OP. 1 day ago I haven't mentioned the vase in months. My father is the only one doing so. The only reason I'm getting involved now it's because his comments are getting worse.
    via u/Inevitable-Fox7946
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    Feelinggross99. 1 day ago The fact that he's escalated in anger so long after the incident is concerning. Are there any other things he seems to be less patient or agitated about? Not to fear monger but I'd be on the look out for signs of dementia. Yeah, some people just get mean in their old age, but if he's only been getting worse the last few months I'd be wary.
    via u/Feelinggross99
  • 17
    Just buy him the vase though, he can be mad all he wants about not having the same piece of glass, but the time for being mad at the toddler is long over.
    via u/Feelinggross99
  • 18
    DenizenKay 1 day ago The solution would be to buy him a vase for father's day, his bday, Christmas....every holiday buy him a vase in perpetuity. Make him so plentiful with vases he wishes he never sees another vase again. Problem solved. Nta
    via u/DenizenKay
  • 19
    Marine 0311. 1 day ago NTA. FFS, your son was a toddler doing toddler things. Your dad should have toddler proofed the house. You offered to pay for a new vase, he declined, he can STFU about it. I always thought collecting and displaying wine corks was bizarre. Hey look at how much I drink everyone!
    via u/Marine__0311
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    Inevitable-Fox7946 OP 1 day ago He's pretty proud of the corks, actually.
    via u/Inevitable-Fox7946
  • 21
    enzothebaker87 · 1 day ago In that case why did he not just keep the corks and let you replace the vase? This all sounds so ridiculous on his part. The name calling would have been the final straw for me though.
    via u/enzothebaker87
  • 22
    HippieGrandma1962 · 22 hr. ago This exactly. If anyone referred to my child as a "little they would not be seeing us for quite a while. Let him wallow in his anger.
    via u/HippieGrandma1962

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family drama vase cork toddler toddlers grandfather broken heart reddit story glass dad Grandpa family grandparents daughter Reddit son Father
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